Ramblings again. Sleepy actually.

11 12 2009

I never thought I’d get someone younger than me. Let alone someone like him. I used to think having someone younger than me by a few months in the same year was weird, and now, I don’t mind at all. It’s just a preference. Even if he’s older, he ought to be at most 2 years older. Of course, love can work the most mysterious ways. I still don’t know who I’d ended up with.

The other 2 of my girlfriends are getting married around mid next year. Shit, I felt like tearing now. My cousin, who isn’t even the eldest in the family, is getting married first. Come on, who am I kidding if I tell you that I’m not bothered? I have to psyche myself to be positive about this.

I just have to look out for myself. I love him, I want to commit, but I won’t if I don’t see him putting any efforts. Enough is enough. I will hold on to everything that he had said and it’s time to see if he can put them to actions.

I also don’t want to just talk. I myself need to show and act. I’m getting a little obsessed over my appearance. Just want to maintain myself properly. And have a little more guts. If I fall, I won’t fall down hard. I don’t want to be so vulnerable. I need to love myself. Anyone who makes me unhappy, I am going to stay away from them. I can forgive and forget their flaws, but I can also leave them if I have to. Nobody wants to be around people who keep upsetting you. When you strive for happiness, you are better off without things or people who upsets you.

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