3 days older

14 12 2009

Yes. The only way to be a better person is to have a positive attitude. But I do feel a little “attitude” but not entirely positive! Probably just want to be a little stronger, and not let anyone or anything spoil my 29th year of my life. I just hope I can be consistent. That’s always a challenge. Starting something is always easy, but maintaining it? I really, really, really have to be determined enough to have such disposition.

–         Be more gracious. Or graceful? Or cool? In facing criticisms, comments, words that hurt. I want to, I must! Just brush them off. Get over them as soon as possible. I think I’ve managed to today.

–         Look better. I must have the habit to wear make up everyday. Get those affordable and good make-up sets. And those types that is very convenient to use and wear. Like Clinique’s Quick Blush and Quickliner. Better isn’t it? The ones I have are time-consuming. And the eye colours I have now are those single colour instead of palette.

–         And take better care of my skin. I’m getting a wee bit obsessed about wanting to look few years younger than my age. I mean I’ve already gotten comments, and I don’t want to stop hearing them. Vain? Narcissistic? No, just wanting to take care of my face. Scrubs, once a week mask. Cloth mask are so easy, so invest in it. Get those affordable facial wash and scrubs but invest in serum and eye treatment. There’re so many innovations nowadays that so easy to use, and have multi purpose functions. Stick to them, be consistent and you may see results. Why one didn’t see any is because one does not have the patience to see it over time. Products are marketed to entice people of the fast results, but your skin may take some time to see the effect. So be patient!

–         Focus on my studies. And set up my cake website as soon as possible. QUICK! I’m so excited about this sideline. It’s been overdue for years. But hey, it’s ok to start late. It’s not that late anyway. Our time have yet to come that’s all.

–         Cut down on snacks. Drink those soluble vitamin c tablets. It can help to be and feel more alert. Actually I did just now but I ended up sleepy. Sheesh!

I just want to put all these into actions. No point talking, or setting resolutions or goals, though it is important. I guess I just did. My list above is evidence of it.

Everything begins with me. Only I can change myself. There have been some external factors like having my guy in my life. But still it’s for me and no one else. I want to look good and feel good, so that if he and anyone else try to spoil my year and beyond, I won’t feel so affected.

That’s the thing, sometimes, you can’t go through all by yourself. When you have someone in your life, you’re motivated to change. If it’s not him in the end, then I’m already there for someone else. Physically, characteristically or even financially, at least I’m prepared.

I miss him. I’m a little mad at him. Of course, he matters to me. It’s always the case, that the ones you love the most are also capable to hurt you the most because you have expectations from them. You have feelings for them. When a normal friend doesn’t do something to you, you feel fine because there’s nothing between you and that friend. But towards someone you love, you do feel even the slightest upset when he commits the same ‘crime’.

Oh. He messaged me asking me out. Feeling all tingly inside…




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