Reflections – 2009

30 12 2009

How has the year 2009 been? It just whizzed past. Like the years before. There have been some notable anecdotes throughout the year, but I’m not ashamed to admit that there hasn’t been much growth. It was a bit stagnant, but I think it wasn’t all that bad. I guess it wasn’t so noticeable, but I think it’s more like a beginning of things to come in the new year.

I had a beautiful start for the new year, where I found love. But the differences between us was too much for me to bear, I had to part ways. I don’t know if it’s a gamble to start over the 2nd time round, nearing the end of the year just like the last. And to begin the new year with him in my life again. Will it last this time?

In between, where my love life is concerned, I’ve dated 3 guys. Myzee wasn’t consistent, and I understand that he does not want to commit considering the kind of life he’s leading. Either that or he wasn’t really into me. That’s ok, I’ve tried, I even expressed my feelings to him. He came into my life about a week after I parted ways with Bi.

On and off, I kept in touch with Bi, asking how he’s doing. There were times he expressed his intentions of getting back together, and I was steadfast in saying no. I went along on a double date with Saiful and his fiancée and his best friend. While the date was good, it didn’t last. It went downhill after a series of SMS that turned me off.

I decided to try my luck with online dating again. I met someone, but I just couldn’t continue seeing him, or even be friends with him. I just can never get it, how one couldn’t be cool in dealing with dating issues. There’re just so many things amiss with these 2 guys, and while I understand how the first meeting can never be perfect, I have to listen to my heart. It said no, it said can’t.

Where friendship are concerned, it’s been pretty awesome, though could have been better. I have to admit though, nowadays whatever free time I have I spent it with Bi instead of catching up with my friends. I have friends that I have reconnect but have yet to meet them, and a bunch of close ones whom I haven’t been consistently meeting. I’ve strike a bond with Nicholas, bumped into Rosie, met Siti and Shaneza. I’ve found a confidante in Chunhe, and have spilled more personal issues with Rina. Through Facebook we found ex-Malay Xishanites and had 2 meetings with them. In PIL, people went and came, and some friendships were developed along the way.

I’ve started my Specialist Diploma in E-Commerce somewhere in September. Apart from acquiring knowledge, getting a certificate and taking advantage of the subsidy, it’s also some kind of boost to my inner being. You have something to work towards, you have a proper mindset to do whatever it takes to excel. It keeps me busy; it gives me a purpose to lead life with personal ambitions, and not because of someone else’s expectations.

The year has indeed passed by. The only thing I can do is not to regret what I did or didn’t do and look forward to the new year for a second chance to improve. In fact, I’ve started a little earlier, that is, on my birthday.




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