Happy International Women’s Day

3 03 2010

I know I haven’t been writing much. It will always be the same gripe over and over. I visited my blog to see if I’ve been doing my 2010 to do list. I managed to stick to some, some events were already past, some I’ve yet to do. Some I missed the deadline.

And it’s March already. It’s freaking March, 1st quarter of the year is going to pass soon. My patience is wearing thin. If I don’t keep myself busy and accomplish what I’ve set out to do this year, I am going to go even crazier.

So I don’t care I’m just going to gripe and gripe and gripe some more. Get it out of my system. But I know I’ve been helping myself at the same time. Controlling my emotions, “getting it” and just go with the flow just like how he wants me to. My heart has finally let go of things and able to accept them the way they are. The heart can be stubborn at times, trying to hold out to the ones I adore and love when I’m not seeing the same shown towards me. The thing is, it wasn’t really my head that’s forcing my heart to see and change, but the heart itself just realized on its own. And I even borrowed the book, He’s Just Not That Into You to affirm everything that has happen.

Gosh, am I clueless. But I still want to be nice. People have their reasons. I’m not just their type of girl. Simple. So I shouldn’t push it. At least I’ve tried, and gave what I can. I can cry for awhile that it couldn’t last long, but be happy that it was good while it lasted. It was. And I still care about them. In a way nice human beings do. We’re friends after all.

As I’ve told to myself, I can’t be around people who don’t give out happy, positive vibes. I don’t want to ignore them too, but if I ended up having to be happy on my own and not together with them, it’s really tough. I can’t stick around with these people. I haven’t been eating properly, I haven’t been taking care of my skin. So right now, the best ‘revenge’ is to not be affected and get my groove back again. Even if it means having to fork out some money to soothe this crumpled heart. Retail therapy? Hell yeah.

As much as it sucks liking someone whom I like but does not like me as much, I guess I just have to wait yet again for that someone whom I like and like me too. I’m a woman, babe, and not some teenage girl. Deal with it.